Saving Difficult Relationships through Communication

Admit it or not, relationships with others are important to us as human beings. Relationships with parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, roommates, and classmates can bring joy and takes on added significance in our lives. We learn that it is often in or though intimate relationships that our romantic, companionship, and intimacy needs will be met. It is no wonder then, that we find ourselves preoccupied or consumed with pursuing, maintaining, ending, and recovering from the loss of such relationships. While each of these stages of relationships can be difficult and challenging, it is commonly when relationships end or “don't work out” that we struggle the most.

Whatever your age and experience, a relationship can bring you new and demanding challenges. Being able to handle conflict and deal with differences is important in maintaining healthy relationships. Everyone who is in a relationship or cares about their relationships may need assistance at some time to help them deal with problems or difficulties in a relationship, learn how to from or improve relationships, cope with a relationship that has broken down and help to change a relationship where there is violence and abuse.
All couples experience problems in one form or another --- it's part of sharing your life with another human being. The difference between a healthy relationships that work, and those that don't, is how well couples deal with the challenges and problems they face in their life together.

There are reliable tools that can be used to create a healthy relationship, many of which have not been taught in our culture. If you want to have a really healthy relationship, follow these simple guidelines.

· Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Too often, relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames their partner for making them feel that way. Make yourself happy first, and then share his or her happiness.

· Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a process of ending your anger or resentment towards another individual. It can have the power to transcend all offenses, great and small, and learning to forgive another takes patience, honesty, and respect. When sincerely given freely in a relationship, forgiveness may heal relationships that are suffering. Forgiveness is an act of humility, not one of haughty feelings.

· Do not do anything for your partner if it comes with an expectation of reciprocation. The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them. Do not hold your “good deeds” over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work: a person is less likely to notice and value all the contributions of their partner as much as their own.

· Be Responsible. Responsible means that you have the ability to respond. It does not mean you are to blame. If you've been rude to your partner, own up to it, and get try to think of ways how you might do it differently and in a positive manner next time. If you are unhappy in your relationship, make an effort to learn how you might create a better relationship for yourself rather than try to change your partner.

· Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. When a relationship is not working, there is usually a familiar way that we feel while in it. We are attracted to the partner with whom we can learn the most, and sometimes the lesson is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us. A truly healthy relationship will consist of both partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it continues to improve.

· Appreciate yourself and your partner. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your beloved that you love him or her, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.

Research have shown that people in supportive, loving relationships are more likely to feel healthier, happier, less stress and satisfied with their lives and less likely to have mental or physical health problems or to do things that are bad for their health. People in supportive, loving relationships help each other practically as well as emotionally. Supportive partners share the good times and help each other through the tough ones. Talking and listening are probably the most important skills in a relationship. There'll always be tensions and disagreements, but if you can communicate well, you can overcome almost any problem.

'Tis The Season For Volume

Do you know how many turkeys are eaten during the holiday season? Below are a few interesting facts regarding the volume of turkeys eaten, cards sent, and much more.

Christmas Cards
Do you enjoy receiving cards in the mail? How many do you think you get each season? There are roughly 1.9 billion Christmas cards sent in the United States every year to friends, family members, and acquaintances, making Christmas the #1 card sending occurrence, followed by Valentine's Day.

The number UPS is expected to deliver this year is over 340 million. The busiest day is expected to reach 20 million deliveries, which translates to 230 packages being delivered every second during that day.

There are approximately 60 million turkeys consumed in the United States through the holiday season. Each American eats around 13.7 pounds of turkey every year! You think you are tired of turkey once Christmas is over? This may be why.

Christmas Trees
Next time you are lugging your tree home, remember this little fact. There are 20.8 million Christmas trees cut in the U.S. every year, with Oregon being the largest producer. Tree farmers retail roughly $506 million from the sale of trees. There is $69 million worth of artificial trees imported from China alone. Artificial Christmas trees have outsold real trees every year since 1991.

Christmas Tree Ornaments
China is the largest importer of Christmas ornaments which totals $561 million between January and August. Apparently those little trinkets are purchased year-round to have handy when Christmas time approaches.

Most malls and other stores begin decorating for the holiday season on November 1st.

Holiday Shopping
Holiday sales are expected to hit $439.53 billion this year. December accounts for roughly 15% of stores' yearly sales, except for in the case of jewelry stores, which is closer to 24%. However, most Americans only expect to spend an average of $681 each this holiday reason. On Black Friday, approximately $8.01 billion was spent, totaling $16.8 billion for the weekend. Residence of the New England states are expected to spend the most, with the South expected to spend considerably less.

Roughly 45% of shoppers this year will be purchasing toys, with Barbie and video games being the most sought after products.

Holiday Music
The most frequently played holiday song is "Jingle Bells", with "White Christmas" running a close second. Bing Crosby's "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" is the #1 best selling Christmas single of all time.